A Phil-for-an-ill Blog

September 16, 2009

Second Deliverance Attempt

Nederlandse versie English version
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Contents
1. Tragedy and Sin, Forgiveness and Restoration – My Own Deliverance Story
2. Second Deliverance Attempt
3. Revelation at the “Returning Glory” Ranch
4. Third and Final Deliverance Attempt

“Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.” Psalm 80:19

Feeling that I now had thoroughly unburdened myself, soon after our trip to New York, Moziah led the second stage of my deliverance. I remember to feeling relieved for not having to repeat my new set of admitted sins in front of her sister and son, who both assisted Moziah, because that would be oh so embarrassing of course.

Moziah stipulated that the following demons had taken up residence in me:

  • Spirit of Infirmity (who is responsible for having made me sick with Candida Albicans for the last 15 years)
  • Spirit of Slumber/Heaviness (who’s responsible for making me depressed and tired at times it was useful for the demons)
  • Spirit of Fear (a useful assistant to the spirit of infirmity towards driving me further in social isolation and general misery)
  • Spirit of Logic (tries to give enticing suggestions that seem reasonable and logical, so as to find easier entrance into hosts who have a logical mind)
  • Spirit of Lust/Succubus (the female demon who sought to collect the Light in my semen and who triggered wet dreams ever since I was a teenager)
  • Spirit of Jezebel (the female master of Succubus but who then was presumed to have a minor role in me)

Quite the lovely outfit indeed.

Demons Enter in Groups
Image and video hosting by TinyPicDemons rarely enter a host all alone but rather enter as a group similar to how a military force would occupy a foreign land. As such, a demon, as part of a military attaché, should be thought of as a soldier who has a specific task to perform in maintaining occupation.
To demons, habitation inside a human would be what an expensive Penthouse apartment would be to an otherwise homeless and penniless bum (demons have no attributed place of habitation, you see).
Moziah confirms:

“A human body is desired above all else because when the demon enters, if it has the power/legal right to take over the person, it has a main database/computer to basically “type” in any command and hit “enter” and the human-brain will send the messages to the rest of that body and fulfill the will of the demonic entity. They have been known to inhabit animals too, but their preference is always Humans first.”

From my own experience I can tell that the goal of demons is to usurp the will of their host so that they have free reign regarding furthering the goal of their masters, which may very well include a total destruction of the host. Personally, I feel that the demons in me tried to destroy me rather than use me since I turned out to be a stubborn and disobedient vessel. I feel that I had to be destroyed since their intention to make a drug dealing demon slave out of me fell apart miserably. You see, keeping in mind that since they are at war with humanity, dope dealing servants who have the potential to wreck people’s lives serve the interests of the demonic rather well.

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I AM come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Through my own experience I learned that demons have a chance to manifest themselves at times when the host is in a state of stress/hardship. This is why I suspect they made me vulnerable by first making me sick with Candida. They sort of softened up the target first, to speak in military jargon. Through subverting my health they slowly but surely gained a leverage of control over me. They managed to slip through, and usurp my will, at times when I was in the most pain and visibly frustrated.

Indeed, it was in a state of ongoing pain and frustration that I was given the idea to take my first XTC pill, in an attempt to precisely offset that pain and discomfort. This was purely my decision, nobody pushed or persuaded me but myself. And it was in a state of pain and frustration that I had the idea of starting to sell XTC pills. Again, this was also purely my decision, nobody pushed or persuaded me but myself.

I suspect the spirit of Logic to have been behind these two inherently counter-intuitive decisions in my life.

You see, I had always been against drugs and alcohol as I saw my alcoholic father go down the drain. He was the last person I wanted to emulate. So I always strove for a healthy lifestyle but when vitamins and doctors couldn’t alleviate the health-crisis I was in, I despaired into seeking solace in illicit drugs. Call it an attempt at self-medication. Although my life was very rewarding before I got sick (I was a dedicated and promising student you see), my illness left me with a chronic lack of gratification. And drugs, especially the ones that triggered the release of the reward neurotransmitter dopamine, gave me some level of chemically induced satisfaction and respite.

The drugs were costly though, or at least so I was led to think, and within not too long a time I had this “luminous” idea of starting to sell these thingies myself. That way I could basically start taking them free of charge.

Never underestimate the strength of the grip a demon of Logic has on a logical but ignorant mind under pressure.

Once again, religious garbs were put on and Moziah proceeded to try and cast out the demons now bundled and bound together through the Word of God. To my relief, this time they fortunately left without much resistance. I was very glad my deliverance went rather smooth, i.e. without Hollywood special effects, such as blurting out embarrassing language or making other ungodly gestures.

After the demons were cast out I pleaded my heart to Jesus Christ, although it would not take full effect until near the end of my stay in the US (more on this later). See the Appendix, for the text of my dedication. Accepting Christ into your heart is an essential part of deliverance. You see, if you are delivered, you leave behind a vacant and cleanly swept house, as Moziah likes to phrase it, and by way of having the protection of Jesus in your heart, any prospecting demons are deterred and prohibited from reentry. It is important to have this kind of protection since demons tend to come back with a fortified army so as to make repeated eviction more difficult.

My apparently smooth deliverance did have its price-tag though since everyone involved felt exhausted afterwards. It was a weird experience since I didn’t feel any noticeable changes in me other than indeed the onset of a rather overwhelming fatigue. I suspect that this was the price to pay for the forced departure of the demon of Infirmity and/or the demon of Heaviness.

I have to admit that I still had some doubts as to the success of my deliverance and I kept on thinking about two minor things I had not spoken of with Moziah, who had also emphasized that it is not a matter of confessing sins to her but rather that it was all about humbly repenting to the Father. And that I did, as I earlier confessed these two sinful things by thought directed to the Father. I’m quite sure he didn’t fail to register them. Nonetheless I couldn’t entirely ignore thoughts of doubt. The reason why those thoughts kept on bugging me will become apparent later on.

Dealing with Shame
If you recognize that you are possessed but feel too embarrassed to air your sins, it should be said again that you are working precisely along the desires of the demons. You see, more than anything they simply want to remain within you and while you are ignoring or rationalizing the problem, they get to stay. They will not go away of and by themselves, unless you are worn out or dead. You see, if you think about it for longer than two seconds, through feelings of shame you are actually protecting the demons inside of you. Unless you overcome that embarrassment, demons inside of you have free reign so that the only prospect you have is a perpetuation, and likely progression, of the misery you are already suffering from. I suppose the right type of question for you to ask is, what do I regard more important in life: my image, i.e. what people think of me, or better perhaps: what I think that people think of me. Or would you consider your physical, mental and spiritual well-being more important?
Also, you don’t have to expose your experiences in a publicly accessible blog like I have done. God chose me to do that. In addition, you only have to admit your sins for one person rather than the entire world. Sometimes, as I had done, you don’t recognize a sin being a sin so that’s why a talk with a deliverance minister is helpful. So get over those feelings of embarrassment because it’s not your ego, that inferior and shallow protector of image, standing and reputation, that is most important in your life. Rather it’s your life and regaining control over it that counts. Who care what the neighbors may say, or the guys down in the pub? Your ego may rationalize that your life is not all that bad, that you can handle it and that surely Phil is exaggerating. Well, look at me, my life was going down the tubes and if it weren’t for Moziah I may very well have ended up totally destroyed.
God loves you and even though he does not like the sins you’ve committed he will understand (if fact, he already knows) and He will forgive you for it. But you have to put your ego aside and admit wrongdoing. Spiritual liberation can only come through free will, through your consent. And you can be set free if you really want to.

In the evening we went out to some friends of Moziah to have a few drinks and to unwind a little. I did feel liberated for the first time since about 15 years and went to bed later that night feeling quite relieved indeed. That next night however, I was attacked no less than three times. I was triggered into having nightly emissions twice through provocative visual stimuli. This time I woke up while dreaming about snorting drugs, something I did not detest doing when I was younger. The third attack had no sexual component however. I had a dream in which I struggled with some indescribable force or entity. I remember waking up while trying to physically resist something with my arms and when my attacker tried to work its way through my defenses, I woke up while my trembling arms were folded against my body and my right hand was spasmodically flapping against the bed sheet. I also remember to having felt quite drained immediately after the attack. With the things that had been happening to me lately, I immediately recognized the attack for what it was: demonic. It was as if a demon was trying to work its way through my defenses and onto me. As I had done the previous nights, I reported everything to Moziah.

How Demons Manipulate Us
Through my own experience I have discovered two ways that demons use to manipulate us. One is by suggesting verbal ideas or thoughts into our minds. Another tactic consists of implanting imagery into our minds. The insidious thing about these strategies is that if, for whatever reason, you are unaware of being manipulated, your natural reaction is to think that those thoughts (visual or verbal) are your very own – no matter how quirky or dodgy they may be.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
Reference

I now also understand why, in 2004, I had this very unusual and depressing dream in which I imagined myself to be asleep. This happened during a time when I was feeling generally very worn down, all around miserable and demotivated. All the while this happened at a time when I didn’t use any drugs, mind you. I suspect that this was all part of the mind-tricks my demons deployed in trying to depress me even more.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

It should be emphasized though that you don’t have to be possessed to experience the seductions and enticements of demons. Demons constantly roam around us trying to seduce and trick us into committing acts of sin so that they would have a legal right to take up residence in us. You can be under attack from the outside as well as the inside, it’s called demonic oppression versus demonic possession, respectively.
Engaging in acts of sin is tantamount to playing spiritual Russian Roulette. And so it cannot be said enough times that we are being waged a war against. It’s a war that is invisible for ordinary eyes but one that claims many victims just the same. Demons may attempt to hijack your mind to the point at which you become the mere vehicle of their will, they may provoke insanity, or other forms of debilitation and may even catalyze the death of its host.
Moziah would later provide me with the example of a young boy mentioned in the New Testament who was possessed by a “deaf and dumb” spirit which caused him to have seizures and tried to kill him by making him jump into fires and water. Read Mark 9:17-29 how Jesus rid the boy of this foul demon spirit.


http://www.ihop.org/

That next day we headed out on a 10 hour long road-trip to Tabitha’s place in Kansas near Kansas City, Missouri, where the International House of Prayer was located. During my stay there it became apparent that I still had a ‘problem’ that needed to be dealt with. I increasingly suffered from Candida symptoms, that stirred up such unrest and discomfort in me that I struggled with keeping a good mood. I became obnoxious and selfish to the point where Moziah was on the verge of “showing a side of her I hadn’t seen yet.” I do feel a bit bad and even though it was not me in control of myself, I did allow myself to relinquish control and so I do feel responsible for my behavior. Fortunately no one got hurt.

How Demons Gain Control
As I already mentioned, demons work to stress its host. And they did manage to gain the upper hand of control from me every now and then. The more I was in pain or discomfort, the easier it was for them to steal control from me. This was also the case during our stay at Tabitha’s place in Kansas. I struggled to maintain my mood and the demonic in me manifested more and more, maybe not so much in deeds but in thoughts all the more.
Since Moziah has the gift of reading minds I must have driven her bonkers with my racing mind. I can only guess the magnitude and frequency of the demonic thought-attacks harassing my mind. All I know is that it wasn’t good because it left me feeling miserable, frustrated and lonely. This was but a rehash of an all too familiar theme in my life. My disability to give love, made me feel unworthy of receiving it. Demons are not compassionate beings. In fact, they know no mercy at all. They forced me into a state of social isolation.
By making me feel miserable through disease and tiredness, demons worked to sabotage my conscience and overall sound mind. By being under demonic siege, it becomes progressively more difficult to function as a sane being as I experienced more and more resistance in being able to properly assimilate any bad behavior that I was responsible for, so that I normally would be able to learn from my mistakes and prevent recurrence. My mind in general and conscience in particular, was slowly being dismantled. More and more, I sought refuge to solitude and ignorant selfishness. My self-respect and self-esteem suffered as well.
I was being subjected to the most formidable and invisible siege indeed. Slowly but surely I was being destroyed.
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Gideon was also known as Jerubbaal, or “a contender against Baal” because Gideon destroyed the alter to Baal his father erected.

While at IHOP, Moziah arranged for all of us to attend several prophecy readings. On such type of occasion two people sit down with you and serve as the vessel through which the Holy Spirit then proceeds to share information about you and your future. I took an interest in these matters as I was still struggling with my faith in God. The accuracy of prophecy readings however, was such that it did cause to strengthen my faith.

Here are a few of the things that were said about me at the first session:

  • Reference to Psalm 23. He is your Shepherd. There’s no fear. You are not sure if you can trust him all the way.
  • God is strengthening you!
  • You are like Gideon (mighty man of valor).
  • God is bringing healing and restoration! What the enemy has stolen you will get back.
  • There was a metaphor in which you were holding a bunch of keys trying to unlock the door to God. God will show you the right keys.
  • You are desperately seeking in your heart, but He has sought you out!
  • Reference to Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” God has put this desire in you!

At the second independent session:

  • You won’t believe unless you see it. You should trust Him and have faith in Him without doubt.
  • Knock and the door will be opened.
  • He wants you to let Him show you who you are in Him.
  • You are worthy!
  • He has an unmeasurable love for you.
  • Sit and drink of the fresh water He presents you.
  • Let your guard down with Him. You can lean on Him.
  • God presents a journey of love to you. Open your heart fully.
  • It’s a season of refreshment.
  • God is not logical!
  • Ask questions, He’s excited to answer!
  • Be Real!
  • He wants to use you for righteousness and justice. You’ll fight for justice.
  • Go for it. Let the spirit lead.
  • Part of the New Church

I stress that both sessions were without prior verbal interaction with the persons performing the prophecy over me; nor was there any interaction during the revelation of the prophecies.

A third prophecy was done over me but since there was an interview-like kind of interaction between myself and the person prophesying over me, I regard it as useless unfortunately. Also, as Moziah pointed out, this prophecy was not part of the “prophecy room” sign-up experiences but rather was a spontaneous prophecy spoken over me by a friend of Moziah who we ran into at IHOP.

It doesn’t really matter as I have enough to go on anyway.

God is Not Logical!
I remember to having had a brief discussion with Elijah on the notion of God not being logical, something I had quite some difficulty with accepting at the time. I reasoned that maybe God adheres to some sort of super-logic, i.e. logic that transcends human ability – God logic, if you will. Assuming God is omnipotent it then automatically follows that God must also be the greatest logician and mathematician in existence.
Unlike at the time, I do recognize now that God does not have to restrict himself to a modus operandus based on logic. You see, logic delineates the ways in which the physical or natural world operates and behaves. It is the toolbox that shapes the laws of nature. But God does not have to obey the rules and regulations of His own creation (or a creation that was done by an inferior god, Yaldabaoth). God can simply do as He pleases. Since, after all, He is God ALMIGHTY!
N.B. It deserves to be mentioned that the idea of the Universe and everything in it, including God, supposedly adhere to logical laws came to me a few years ago when I came across information on a Swiss farmer called Billy Meier. This seemingly innocuous guy was an alleged contactee with super-intelligent humanoid aliens coming from no less a place than the Pleiades. It were those space brothers who informed Billy that ultimately everything in the Universe was governed by sheer logic. I was quite charmed by this idea, even though I now know, through inside information, that the Billy Meier project is also a CIA disinfo project, although Billy still probably thinks it is genuine. Nonetheless, in spite of the revelation that Billy was either a dupe or a fraud, the idea that God would be logical still clung to my mind.As such, God must have responded to that conviction.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

3he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

4Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,a

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Continued…

~

Previous articles I’ve written about Moziah:
Moziah Frees her Cousin Tina from Demonic Possession
Moziah Casts Out Lucifer (from Illuminati Grand Master Leo Zagami)
Sister Keri and Moziah – Fighting Evil on a Spiritual Level

Other relevant articles:
When Love Yields to Fear – What is a Jezebel Spirit All About?
Unmasking the Roman Catholic “Our Lady of Fatima”

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